Mar 25, 2012

Posted in Featured, Finding Fulfillment, Pursuing God, The Divine Romance

What Are Your Realities?

Part 3

In Part 2 of Finding Fulfillment we talked about “The Big Reality”—that in our broken world we cannot be relationally perfect.

As long as we strive to do things the world’s way, we will be disappointed. Finding true contentment and fulfillment begins with recognizing and accepting our current realities. As we do that, we can begin to see our need for the One Who created the world. The One Who desires a perfect relationship with us.

Here are three realities that are common to most of us.

1. THE REALITY IS… maybe our lives didn’t turn out the way we planned or wanted.

Some of us are single. We may be survivors of divorce, or we may have never married. Our dreams of white picket fences, marital bliss, and 2.3 children never quite happened.

A few of us may be widowed. My mom lost my dad when she was two months pregnant with me. That’s NOT how she wanted or expected her life to turn out.

Many of us are married, but whether it’s a great marriage or a struggling marriage, it may not be all we pictured or dreamed it to be.

The results of these unplanned realities are disappointment, dashed dreams, and feelings of not being loved the way we want to be loved.

2. THE REALITY IS… we may have had a tough beginning.

None of us have come through our lives unscathed. We all have old baggage of some kind. As kids we each employed some way of avoiding hurt from others. Those strategies worked for us at the time and helped us to survive. Unfortunately, when we employ these strategies as adults, they hinder rather than help us.

3. THE REALITY IS… we all struggle, but are afraid to admit it!

It seems that within our very nice, very polite female Christian society we are almost always willing to talk about men, joke about men, joke about the lack of men in our lives, discuss how exciting men are, discuss how frustrating men are.

But we don’t talk about our passions and feelings—

the feelings that stem from our unmet needs and expectations of men. As a result, we tend to believe we are alone in our struggle to live joyful, godly lives. Believing that, we are tempted to hide our real, “unacceptable” selves all the more.

Every time I have presented an “Ahh… Men!!” seminar women express their relief in knowing they are not alone. Scripture confirms it. “But remember this—the wrong desires that come into your life aren’t anything new and different. Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you (1 Cor. 10:13a, Living Bible).” Exposing these struggles to the light is the first big step in overcoming The Big Lie.

(You can find more in-depth discussions, answers, and worksheets in Dee’s book, The Divine Romance—Going to God with the Longings Only He Can Fulfill.)

Next Time: The Big Lie and the Incredible Truth

What do you think?

Can you relate to any of these hard realities?

Do you ever feel alone in your struggles?

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